Rabu, 01 Oktober 2014
Negatif impact of technology for children
On this period time the world has been dominated by technology with all the sophistication and managed to attract all walks of life are no exception in children, and sometimes even parents spoil their children by facilitating their children with gadgets or items that contain technology. With trimmings children using these gadget then the phase in which the child should socialize only time spent playing games on their technology so the lose the ability to sociolize and also with technology that is not constrained children should have access to something that has not allowed them access. And subsequent negative impact to the unwise use of technology in children causes them to be lazy because just busy with technology at their disposal. That so, should the use of technology especially gadgets in children should be avoided.
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I think you have good ideas in your writing. However, let me say some comments related to your writing:
BalasHapus1. Try to write more ideas. You wrote approximately 135 words only.
2. Can you please state what the topic sentence is?
3. What type of writing are you writing?
Thank you and keep blogging
It is a pretty fair writing for me. But, I am agree with what Mr Sandy said, that you have to try to write more ideas, because it is too short writing. And I think that each sentences are too long. I mean, we need to make some simple sentences, so the readers will be understand your writing easily. In your writing, we just find four full stop. So, I think you have to separate the sentences with some full stop.
BalasHapusThank you Ms Try Pungkas sari ,
Good luck for you writing :)